[Author’s note: This series, on Mrs. Gray’s reading habits, began here.]
61 Bowdoin Street, Boston, Saturday, 16 November 1861: Wrote as polite a note as I knew how to our neighbour Mrs. Weld[2] this week au sujet de their end window on Beacon Hill [Place], which they have no right to keep open, and which they do, to my great inconvenience. I bore it all last winter without remonstrance – one hates to seem unaccommodating. They have closed the window. But Mr. Weld writes to Dr. G[ray] in answer to my note to Mrs. W. and denies our right to close up their window. Mr. Carter says we have the right, but I shall do nothing more in the matter. We are not going to get up a quarrel or a law suit – it must be left to mutual courtesy; c’est tout.
The sequel came in December:
Wednesday, 11 December 1861: Went to a pleasant little gathering at Rebecca [Wainwright]’s[3] last night to meet her cousin Mrs. Bronson[4] of New York. I did not feel much like making the effort – but it had the effect de me distraire from dwelling too much on a very disagreeable occurrence of the morning. A note came to me through the penny post, on very common paper to wit:
“Madam
“Before complaining about your neighbours blinds, which they have as good a right to keep open, as you have yours, would it not be well to prevent your boys annoying the neighbourhood by their jumping and tearing over fences and yards, and beating drums in the morning &c ‘Take the beam &c, &c,’
“One of the Annoyed.”
Now this affair has disturbed my usual equanimity not a little. I bore no ill will toward my neighbors on account of their blinds, though I remonstrated against their keeping them permanently open, to my great inconvenience. I did so in the belief that we had a legal right to object – Mr. Carter says we have. Mr. Weld denied that right, and in answer to my note says, “if he hears nothing more from us on the subject, they shall take the liberty of opening the window whenever it suits them &c &c.” We concluded it was not worth making a difficulty about or having uncomfortable feeling – and not caring to bandy notes back & forth about the matter, he did hear nothing more, for we let the subject drop then and there.
I have intended making my usual yearly call there since, but have been too hurried in important matters to find time – and lo! this explosion of wrath! with its angry allusion to the “blinds” hinting at least, as to whence it comes, very significantly. And yet one feels it almost an insult to accuse a lady, even in one’s own secret mind, of so unlady like and underbred an expression of spiteful feeling as this coarse, illy-expressed anonymous missive!
Of course one can take no notice of it – not even to regret that one’s boys are such a nuisance to the neighbourhood – or to explain that we hold the parental relation and responsibility to only 4 out of the score or two of rampaging boys whose climbing fencing drumming &c proves so distressing to the neighbourhood of Beacon Hill.
Dr. [Gray] suggests it may be a hoax – but to me it seems what children call, downright earnest! and though I am beginning to laugh at it now, it really wounded and vexed me not a little yesterday. We are peaceably disposed people and would prefer being on friendly terms all round – but our neighbors seem likely to make a feud of it, whether I will or no – for how can I make a call there after this?![5]
Continued here.
[1] Hedwiga Regina Shober (1818–1885) was married to Dr. Francis Henry Gray 1844–80. Entries from the Hedwiga Regina Shober Gray diary, R. Stanton Avery Special Collections.
[2] Isabella Melissa Walker (1813–1908) married William Fletcher Weld as his second wife in 1838.
[3] The diarist’s best friend, Rebecca Parker Wainwright (1820–1901). The Wainwrights lived at 14 Chestnut Street.
[4] Maria Trumbull Wainwright (1831–1905) married Theodore Bailey Bronson in 1851.
[5] This was the crux of the matter, since calls – made and returned – were the lingua franca of Mrs. Gray’s Boston. If she was not on visiting terms with the Welds, this would have ramifications in her other relationships, as both families had large social circles. Such a simmering feud would be awkward – and public.