[Author’s note: This series of excerpts from the Regina Shober Gray diary began here.]
Another feature of the Gray diary from this point is the comparative failure of Dr. Gray’s brother, William Gray (1810–1892), who had hitherto been a mainstay of the family, his wealth and generosity easing things for Dr. and Mrs. Gray and their children.
Boston, Tuesday, 13 June 1876: Wrote yesterday to decline Sallie Gray’s[2] very kind invitation for Doctor and myself to make them a visit [in Brookline], beginning next Thursday. At first, Dr G. was much pleased at the idea and felt sure he should like to go. I knew his courage would fail ere the time came – but I encouraged him all I could; …yesterday he decided it was quite impossible for him to leave home. He is so miserable and so dependent for what comfort he has on the absolute ease & freedom of home & home conveniences that I feel sure it would give him more worry & harm to find himself a guest, even in his brother’s family, than any good he would get by the change of air & scene… It is doubly kind of them to ask us just now – for a guest so entirely invalided is a burden, however welcome a one.
And they already have so much to depress them out there in dear Isa Loring’s[3] increasing blindness and her natural distress at the loss of 4/5th of her property, by the failure of the Atlantic Cotton Mills. In Wm Gray’s own disordered health and the wear of mind & nerve upon him as treasurer and selling agent for these Mills, to wh. he has given his best powers & judgment these 25 years past – only to see this miserable outcome of it all: stock selling, if sold at all, for 19 or 20 dollars and the whole thing at a dead stand… W.G. has a large part of his own & the family property in this mill.
Annie & Ellen [Gray][4] will lose a great deal – not enough to seriously embarrass or curtail their comfort – but to make them a little less easy and affluent. Dr. Gray holds no stock in the Corporation, happily, for he could ill afford to lose. Fred Gray,[5] F.C.G, & S.S.G.[6] all lose. To many people it must be a ruinous thing. It is all inexpressibly sad – and must be a bitter trial and mortification to my brother William, a man of unimpeachable ability & integrity. The sympathy & distress felt for him by my dear husband, has aggravated all his own illness & low spirits…
We hear that young Amory Codman[7] has died of malarial fever in Rome – he was their only son – about Rege’s[8] age. They have now only the daughter Pinkie.[9]
Sunday, 24 June 1877: Our old neighbour & friend Wm. B. Richards died yesterday at 6 a.m. after 3 months illness – he sank very rapidly within a few days. A good, worthy man. He leaves a wife (Cornelia Walter)[10] and two children – and a property much impaired by his brother Reuben A.R.’s[11] disastrous failure which ruined Reuben & George [Richards][12] and swamped some $70,000 for William! who however will leave enough to support the family comfortably.
Horace [Gray][13] is here for a few days – his visit will comfort and cheer the sad family at 22.[14] Fred [Gray] has been easier for some days – but is more poorly to-day; he keeps wonder fully bright & cheerful and makes frequent allusion in a perfectly natural calm way to his own death, as being not far off.[15] Doctor is sadly depressed all the time – but drives out daily & walks and reads and tries to fight down his demon – God help him and us all. Three sorrowful households we are…
Reginald & Morris [Gray][16] have taken their respective degrees [from Harvard Law School and Harvard College] – and we hear from outside that Rege has done very well – he with two others having selected the hardest course of study & acquitting themselves unusually well in it. Morris will begin law studies next term…
I am daily hoping to hear that Aunt Eliza [Clay][17] is about to start for the north – I wrote on the 17th and again on the 25th urging her to come, making our house[18] her head-quarters – and told her in my last, that if she delayed coming till next year, she would never see our dear Fred. again in this life. I think she will come – but it is a great effort for her, deaf & 68 years old. I wish we could afford to send Rege or Morris on to bring her here – but we cannot – and must hope she will find some friends coming north whom she can join…
Continued here.
[1] Entry for 30 March 1876. Dr. Francis Henry Gray (1813–1880) married Hedwiga Regina Shober in 1844. All entries from the Hedwiga Regina Shober Gray diary, R. Stanton Avery Special Collections.
[2] Sarah Frances Loring (1811–1892) married William Gray in 1834.
[3] Sallie Gray’s sister, Isanna Elizabeth Loring (1814–1900).
[4] Dr. Gray’s younger sisters, Anne Eliza Gray (1819–1884) and Ellen Gray (1830–1921).
[5] Dr. Gray’s brother, Frederic Gray (1815–1877).
[6] The diarist’s elder sons, Francis Calley Gray (1846–1904) and Samuel Shober Gray (1849–1926).
[7] John Amory Codman Jr. (d. 1876), son of Mr. and Mrs. J. Amory Codman.
[8] Mrs. Gray’s third son, Reginald Gray (1853–1904).
[9] Martha Catharine Codman (1858–1948), who married Maxim Karolik in 1924. See also a previous reference to Pinkie Codman’s apparent elopement in 1875.
[10] William Bordman Richards (1815–1877) married Mrs. Gray’s friend Cornelia Wells Walter in 1847.
[11] Reuben Augustus Richards (1822–1893).
[12] Dr. George Edward Richards (1845–1919), a younger half-brother and a friend of Mrs. Gray’s son Frank.
[13] Dr. Gray’s brother, Horace Gray of New York (1821–1901).
[14] The household of the younger Gray siblings at 22 Mount Vernon Street; the William Grays lived at 20.
[15] Fred Gray died on 1 August.
[16] The diarist’s youngest son, Morris Gray (1856–1931).
[17] Dr. Gray’s aunt, Eliza Caroline Clay of Savannah, Georgia (1809–1895).
[18] At 1 Beacon Hill Place, around the corner from the other Gray households on Mount Vernon Street.